Busyness...

    This past week has been incredibly busy... and I don't know about you, but I think that sometimes it gets out of hand, and then I don't enjoy life as much.  It's been busy with recruitment dinners for KS Via Christi that Rod hosted, Stroller Strides, church, meeting with my mentor, being with friends, catching up with dear friends and family, being a mommy and wife, and the usual household management (about $295 saved this week off of groceries, pet food, some clothing, and Christmas gifts!)  I stretched myself just thin enough that I found myself not being as patient as I should, not as kind, not as attentive to Joe and Rod's needs as my own.  I didn't enjoy this week as much as I could have.  And it's my own fault.  But, how to change?  How to live life more fully?
    My dear friend Jenn sent me a book a while back titled "Breathe- Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life".  I started reading it this morning to supplement my quiet times (and help me stay motivated, because for whatever reason, I need it!).  The author (Keri Wyatt Kent) quotes Thomas Kelly from A Testament of Devotion:

    We have hints that there is a way of life vastly richer and deeper than all this hurried existence, a life of unhurried serenity and peace and power.  If only we could slip over into that Center!

We have seen and known some people who seem to have found this deep Center of living, where the fretful calls of life are integrated, where no as well as yes can be said with confidence. 

  I think we all know what I'm talking about- each of us wants to be that amazingly calm person who never seems to be ruffled, who takes life as it comes- especially the minor stuff that normally seems to throw us over the edge- coffee spilling, a fussy child, waiting in line too long.   Not to mention, the type of person that takes in the really serious things in life and integrates them into our lives- our faith and relationships- instead of letting them destroy us.
    I've observed and participated in some small way with some of these major circumstances- my friend Jenn's brother was killed in Iraq a little over a year ago, my friend A has breast cancer, our friends J and K lost their baby Ewan after only a few battled weeks of life.  It's easy to get caught up in the daily routines of our lives, but these big tragedies really highlight where our hearts are at.  Where we put our hope, our faith.
    I can't and won't pretend that I know what it's like to grapple with this kind of grief, loss, and anguish.  But I've thought about it a lot.  My heart has and is grieving with my dear friends.  And I wonder how I would deal with it.  Would I completely fall apart and hurt the ones that I love in an attempt to cope (blame, frustration, anger etc), or would I respond in faith and rely on those around me to help carry us through?
    One small lesson I've learned about myself:  If I'm not reading the Bible and therefore listening to the Holy Spirit breathe His life and truth into me, then I haven't got a chance against the trials of life (and the tactics of Satan).  And, as I confessed above, this is a challenging discipline for me.  For me, the best time to do this is in the morning, before I do anything else except for get my coffee.  I am easily distracted by the dishes, laundry, facebook, toys on the floor, not to mention the warmth of my bed! However, I have to be really careful that I'm not gauging my spiritual wellness and health solely on this practice, but rather on the truth of who I am and who God Is.
    The other thing I've learned is that if I practice gratitude, it grounds me in reality and hope.  So, every morning (altho' I think I need to start doing it at night to review the day and end on a  good note) I write out 5 Things I'm Grateful For.  I know it's simplistic, but I need that, and it helps me to see what God is doing and the big and small gifts He's given me.
    As a realist (and a NICU nurse), I know that this life is hard, and that it's really only a matter of time before some tragedy strikes me and my family.  It would be pretty arrogant to think that nothing should happen to us.  The question is, how will we cope, what will be our response?
    The good news is that this is not a surprise to God- in fact, all the tragedy of our lives is in some way related to the longstanding fact that our relationship with God is broken by sin.  The world is not as He created it, which causes all sorts of brokenness, and circumstances that we instinctively know are not as they should be.  This is why we need Jesus!  Here are a couple of verses that have been resounding with me lately:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke (teaching) upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.       Jesus, in Matthew 11:28, 29

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.    Jesus, in John 3:16, 17

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.  Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death.  Psalm 68:19, 20 

  I long to take my burdens (major and minor) to this God who loves me so completely in spite of myself, that he sent His Son to fully compensate for my sin, allowing me the opportunity to have full relationship with the Creator of the Universe.  Not just in heaven when I leave this body, but also now.  I have nothing to lose with trusting Him, and everything to gain!  I want to be able to "integrate" life's struggles when they come (as they surely will)- to be, and to remain "Centered".

Come, Lord Jesus, Come...

Rod and I getting blown about in the Alps a few weeks ago.
We don't want circumstances to blow us off the edge of a life well- lived!